The Spiritual Exercises and Grief Work: The Healing Journey

Mary Ann Bigelow, spiritual director with the St. Francis Xavier parish retreat ministry, Missoula, Mont.

The focus of this workshop is the relationship between the dynamics of the Spiritual Exercises and the dynamics of grief work. The Spiritual Exercises, at least in part, are an exercise in getting in touch with one's experiences of loss and grief and the tasks necessary to live beyond the pain of letting go of those things that kept us bound; to heal our brokenness so that we might live in such a way as to experience the fullness of our humanity, approaching union and communion with our Creator. Grief work resonates with the same process.

Loss, intrinsically linked with our humanity, is a universal experience, coming in many shapes and sizes. We incur a loss on many levels throughout our lives. The obvious is the loss we experience in the death of a loved one, but loss occurs on a daily basis to such experiences as loss of opportunity, loss of possessions, and loss of self-esteem. Even seemingly wonderful experiences such as promotion, relocation, and marriage bring with them grief-laden experiences because, in the moving forward, we must leave something or someone behind. Grief is a natural response to loss. Grief work is the process by which we heal from our grief experiences. Grief work, like the spiritual exercises, requires "letting go." As individuals transfer seeing through this thing we call “Life,” we will grieve and process through our personal grief work. As spiritual directors, we companion others in this experience.

Both the Spiritual Exercises and grief work are about transformation and conversion that accompanies personal and spiritual growth. Both are about attachment; about relationships; about change, difficult change; about living beyond our personal passions into new life.